How to Choose a Realtor Like the Professional You Are
- Kevin A Petersen
- 2 hours ago
- 5 min read
You hire people for a living. Or you work alongside people who do. You know the difference between someone who interviews well and someone who actually performs. You have learned, probably the hard way, that credentials and confidence do not always predict results.
And then when it comes time to hire a real estate agent, most people — even smart, experienced professionals — default to logic they would never use for anything else: I know them, or I saw their face on a bus bench, or someone in my office used them once.
Choosing a realtor is a hiring decision. Treat it like one.
Here is what to actually evaluate — including the questions that separate agents who know their market from agents who are very good at seeming like they do.
Transaction Volume Is Not the Same as Relevant Experience
An agent can close 50 transactions a year in South Jordan and know almost nothing about what is happening in Sugarhouse or the Avenues. Volume matters, but only in markets that are actually relevant to what you are doing.
Ask: How many transactions have you closed in the last 12 months in the specific neighborhoods I am considering? What was the price range? Were you representing buyers or sellers?
A good agent will answer this specifically and tell you about the characteristics of those neighborhoods — where prices softened, what went fast, what sat. If they give you a general answer about overall production, that is a signal.
Ask How They Handle the Awkward Moments
This is the question almost no one asks, and it is one of the most important — especially for LGBTQ+ buyers and sellers who have learned from experience that the real estate process is full of moments where you either feel seen or you do not.
Ask: How do you handle situations where a seller's agent, an inspector, or another professional in the transaction says something inappropriate, makes assumptions, or creates an uncomfortable dynamic for me?
Listen for specificity. An agent who has navigated this will tell you what they actually do — how they step in, what they say, how they position themselves as your buffer. An agent who has not navigated it will give you a reassuring-sounding non-answer about professionalism and communication.
Representing a female client we ran into a situation where a home inspector thought they had to over explain their findings assuming my client wouldn’t understand. After this started I jumped in and and shared that my client was well versed in the systems of a home so they didn’t need to over explain. This feedback made everything flow so much smoother and faster.
Ask About Negotiation Philosophy — Not Just Track Record
Every agent will tell you they are a strong negotiator. Almost none of them can explain what that actually means in practice.
Ask: Walk me through how you approached a recent negotiation where you got your client something significant. What was your strategy and why?
What you are listening for is whether they understand that negotiation in real estate is not adversarial — it is collaborative. The agents who get the best outcomes are the ones who understand what the other party needs and find a path that works for both sides, rather than starting from a position of demands and digging in. Demand-based negotiation in real estate typically results in sellers getting defensive and deals falling apart.
I believe negotiating is the process of getting to a win-win for both sides. Recently I was representing a seller when the buyers agent came to me with a request for $9,000 because of the age of some appliances in the home. I listened carefully and understood where they were coming from and what their concerns were. I’m never offended at an ask or an offer because everyone is in a different situation and needs different forms of security. I took this information to my seller and we started brainstorming of how we can resolve their concerns and reduce the amount my seller would need to pay. We were able to reduce the request by addressing their concerns with the seller providing a home warranty which would cover any repairs that would be needed on the appliances. Both parties got their needs addressed and felt confident moving forward.
Evaluate Their Communication Before You Hire Them
How an agent communicates during your initial conversations is the best data point you have for how they will communicate when you are under contract and the clock is running.
Notice: Do they respond promptly? Do their messages actually answer what you asked, or do they give you partial information and make you follow up? Do they tell you things you did not ask — context, considerations, things you should know? Do they communicate clearly, or do they use industry jargon without explaining it?
One question worth asking directly: What does communication look like when we are under contract? How often will I hear from you, through what channels, and what should I expect when something needs a fast decision?
The answer should be specific. If it is not, that is useful information.
Do Not Skip the Chemistry Question
Real estate transactions take weeks to months. There will be stressful moments, difficult decisions, and times when you need to trust your agent's read on a situation even when you cannot fully verify it yourself.
You do not need to become friends with your realtor. But you do need to feel genuinely comfortable being direct with them — about your priorities, your concerns, your limits. If something about how someone operates makes you hold back, that communication gap will cost you in the transaction.
The best working relationships I have with clients are ones where they feel comfortable pushing back on me, asking me to explain my thinking, and telling me when something does not feel right. That kind of directness makes the whole process better.
The Bottom Line
Choosing a realtor is a hiring decision, and it deserves the same rigor you would bring to any other significant professional relationship in your life. Ask about relevant experience in specific markets. Ask how they handle the moments that make queer clients uncomfortable. Ask about their negotiation approach and listen for substance, not just confidence. Evaluate their communication before you are counting on it.
The right agent will not be defensive about any of these questions. They will have good answers — because they have thought about it and lived it.
If you want to ask me any of these questions directly, I am ready for them.
Let's have coffee or tea — no pressure, no pitch. Book at https://www.kaprealestate.com/book
Kevin A Petersen is an LGBTQ+ affirming real estate agent serving buyers and sellers throughout the Salt Lake City area. Schedule a no-pressure conversation about your home buying goals.
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